Building Powerful & Healthy Relationships

If you want to preserve relationships, then you must learn to respond instead of react to fear and pain.

Responding does not come naturally. You can react without thinking, but you
cannot respond without training your mind to think, your will  to choose, and your body to obey.

It is precisely this training that brings the best qualities in human beings—like courage, empathy, reason, compassion, justice, and generosity—to the surface. The ability to exercise these qualities and respond gives you other options besides disconnection in the face of relational pain.

Powerful people are not slaves to their instincts. Powerful people can respond with love in the face of pain and fear. This “response-ability” is essential to building healthy relationships.


fear versus love in relationships

If you want to cast out all the fear in your relationships,
then you need to leave no room for doubt in people’s minds
and hearts that you truly love them.

– Danny Silk

Donald Trump’s “Top 10 Rules for Success” -Rule 2 “Never give up”

Never give up. You can change and you could also move around but never ever give up.

I know people that are very smart. They went to the same school of finances with me and I know other people that aren’t smart and those people who were labeled as not smart are the top people in the industries today. They just grew tougher and they didn’t give up.

The smart ones had everything on their plate, they always come with the A+ on the test but when they ran into problems they didn’t know how to fix the problems like the guys who were not very good. It is very seldom that you see other than this happen so never ever give up.

Bishop T.D Jakes “Top 10 Rules for Success” – Rule 2 “Busyness is not Effectiveness”

The challenge in our generation is that people gravitate towards entertainment, television, to media and everything possible. We are living in a generation when people lack ideas because we have traded effectiveness for busyness. Statistics say this generation is the busiest of all generation we have seen in the last 300 to 400 years. We are just as busiest we can be and because we think we are busy that we are effective.

I want you to challenge your schedule for a minute and ask yourself “are you really being effective or is your life clustered with all kind of stuffs that demands you, taxes you, drains you and stops you from being your highest and best self?” Are you substituting busyness and all the chaos that goes long it for being effective? A couple of scientists came together and began to do some research and the began to determine that 80% of the things we do are busy things we do in the area that is not effective.

The average  person only spend 20% of his time doing the things that his is really gifted at, passionate about and the rest things he does are all the doom stuffs we all have to do in other to survive. Have you wonder what would happen if we go from doing 80% of  the things that are busy but not effective and 20% of the things that are effective if we could switch those numbers around; that is 80% of our time to things we are created to do and 20% to the things we have to do.

There is a lot of things you can take from me. You can take my house, suit, shoe and I would get another one but when you take my time, you have taken something that I can’t replace for the rest of my life.

We take all kind of classes for money management, home management, we know how to manage our car, our bodies but we can’t value and manage the most important thing which is our time. It takes time to be creative. We are meant to be creative. We were created in the image and likeness of the creator and in that likeness and image there is creativity.

Tony Robins’ “Top 10 Rules for Success”- Rule 2 “Raise Your Standards”

The number one thing that will change your life, the only thing that will change your business, financial status, change your relationships, is that you must raise your standards.

I know that this sounds boring, stupid, doom to you but it is the truth. The only thing that changes our lives on a long term is when we raise our standards.

What does this means? It means that all of us in life have things we want. We do not get what we want; we get what we have to have. We all get what we tolerate-in ourselves and in other people but when you are no longer willing to tolerate something that is when your life changes.

The difference in people is their standards. PERIOD!

What do I mean by standards? Everyone in the world has a list of things they think they should do. I should lose weight, I should spend more time with my kids, I should work harder, I should make more calls, and other I should! I should!! I should!!!

And you know what? When people do not do “the shoulds”, they get mad at themselves, they bit themselves. What changes people is when “the shoulds” become MUST.

And suddenly the things you said should happen has to happen. That is when human beings change. Is like if you want to take the island and you are the head of the army, the most powerful way to take the island is to burn the boat because there will be no way to go back. It is amazing when what you say should happen becomes a MUST.

The shoulds translating into the MUSTs, that is what make human beings succeeds.

John Maxwell “Top 10 Rules For Success” Rule 2- “Attitude is The Difference Maker”

Have you ever heard a motivational speaker telling you that attitude is everything? I bet you have. I have heard a lot of them say that. In fact they would say something like; if you can believe it you can achieve it. That never quite rank true with me, so I began to press the issue. So I have come to the conclusion that attitude isn’t everything?

Now, I’m not disclaiming or in any way disparaging about attitude. I think attitude is very important but if anybody tells you that attitude is everything don’t buy into that because it isn’t true.

For example, attitude cannot replace incompetence. If you are incompetent, you can be happy but very unsuccessful. Now, here is what I do know; attitude isn’t everything but attitude is the main thing that will make a difference in your life. Because I believe that, I wrote the book “the difference maker”. You see, that is what attitude is. Attitude is the difference maker.

You have two people side by side, you think about employing them in your company and both of them have the same back ground, job description, same education, experience. You could even what to flip a coin and say I can either hire the one on the right or the one on the left. Now, one has a great attitude and the other has a bad attitude. Let me ask you, who are you going to employ or hire? You are going to hire the one with a great attitude.

Why? Because it is the difference maker.